I’ve officially entered JET Limbo- that time where you can’t really plan or prepare too much because you still don’t know where you are exactly going, all your forms have been submitted, and you just feel stuck.
I guess I’m kind of lucky though, as I have 6 weeks of classes left to help me kill some time and keep me distracted. But I only have 10 weeks before I leave. God, that feels weird to say.
Day to day, I’ve kind of become numb to my feelings about moving half way around the world. I think that it’s because every time I do think about moving, I’m overwhelmed by too many emotions and all I want to do is cry. I’m just kind of maneuvering on autopilot.
Now don’t get me wrong — I’m so freaking excited to be moving. I’ve spent so long dreaming about living in Japan and imagining what my schools might be like, that sometimes everything feels like a dream.
But I’m also terrified. You don’t appreciate how simple life is until you’re facing a whole new way of life. I’ve done extensive research as to the differences between Canada and Japan’s different systems– medical, insurance, government, etc. Heck, adults have a hard enough time dealing with these things in their home countries where they speak the language. I’m terrified to leave the simple behind. I’m also kind of excited, because it will really challenge my Japanese skills, but that won’t come until I’ve settled a bit.
There isn’t much that I’m upset about leaving (apart from family and friends). My city isn’t anything spectacular, I’m not leaving a job I’d consider for my career, and my relationship with my boyfriend would be over the end of June/July anyways (he’s moving to Vancouver, I’m moving to Japan).
I think the most difficult thing about moving abroad, is having to leave your friends and family. I’m super close with my mom and sisters, and I know I’ll be able to Skype them (heck, I’ll probably even talk to them more when I’m in Japan than I do now), but Skype can’t replace a hug from your mom when you’re having a really bad day.
I always feel bad when I bring up Japan around those I’m closest too. My mom always tears up when I talk about Japan, even though she is also the one who encouraged me to follow my dreams and is just as excited as I am. My friends are the same way, they tell me how excited they are but I can still tell they are sad.
I think JET Limbo really forces you to think about what you are giving up, because you still don’t really know what you’ll be getting at the other end. All I want is to be able to pack and plan and prepare myself for my new life in Japan. I want a tangible location to tie myself to, while I slowly give up my old life in Canada.